this is the real first page of a real book by a real Fox News host
Amazing. Amazing. I will never be able to write satire as good as the real thing, and it kills me inside.
I kind of hope this was ghostwritten by someone less insane; I hope they had a blast.
My favourite bit is the dirty dancing bit because he got to the end of the sentence and realised he’d have to use ‘dance’ twice and sat there for twenty minutes going, “There’s got to be another way of saying ‘square dance’,” and there is but it’s ‘barn dance’ which is even clumsier, and he sat there for ages doing that and eventually gave up. He did a big sigh and if it was a ghostwriter he went, “It’s not worth it; who cares,” but if it was the real guy he went, “No, that’s good. That’s… that sounds good. Sounds honest. This is good.”
Christ, what an asshole.
dirty dancing has literally always meant “dancing provacatively” and anybody who has ever actually been to a barn dance knows that we’ve literally never called dancing in a dirty barn “dirty dancing” lmao this is so much secondhand embarrassment
the other weird one is the blackberry pie. like what does blackberry mean other than a blackberry? raspberry has a double meaning.
Blackberry as in the phone. Which is doubly funny cause hardly anyone uses blackberries anymore, so it’s back to mostly only the fruit anymore.
And, jeez, I thought this was from some letter to the editor, not a published book! >_<
OH DUH and look at me provin your point haha
I think the most horrifying thing is that Coldwater MS isn’t too far from where I live….horrified me that people like that are around me. Then again, I live in MS. What can I expect.
there’s bad movies that you just turn off ten minutes in but then there’s bad movies that are an adventure
this is the truest thing ive ever read